Do women like unintelligent men? Why or why not?
Originally Answered: Do women like unintelligent men? One day, about 15 years ago, I was planning a trip to Six Flags with my cousin and her boyfriend. Since they were worried about me not having someone to sit next to on the rides, they decided to set me up with their friend.
I met him the night before our ‘big fun day’ – and even at first glance, I knew he wasn’t quite right in the head. He had a bit of crazy eyes. But then, he was also pretty wasted. I pulled my cousin into the next room and told her, ‘No. F-ing. Way. I am NOT going on a ‘date’ with that guy. He looks like a big stupid loser.’ (He was holding an empty vodka bottle and couldn’t stop smiling and staring at me.)
My cousin told me to relax since it would be for one day and just to have someone to sit next to on the roller coasters. How bad could it be, she said? Well, the next morning, the three of us went to pick him up at his house on the way to the amusement park. When he walked out the door, I thought it was a different person. My mouth fell open. Now that he was sober and all fresh-faced for the morning, he was so cute and so sexy; I was sure I was going to enjoy the day after all.
Do women like unintelligent men? Why or why not?
On the way there, while talking in the car, he confirmed repeatedly that he was of very little intelligence. But he also made me laugh like nobody’s business, and he had a sweetness about him that was so simple and boyish in a big, strong man’s body. The sexual attraction was through the roof.
By the end of the ‘date,’ I couldn’t believe how much the sexual tension had built up – despite his low IQ. The heat between us was so animalistic, so primal, it couldn’t be ignored, and it got the better of me. Nothing happened that night, but two days later, I saw him again, and just as the first time, a chemistry was pulling me and making me weak in the knees.
This one ‘date’ turned into a nearly four-year-long relationship.
I had never in my life, and I never will again feel that physical connection with someone. We fit like hand in glove. He was the most amazing lover I had ever known. He treated me so well, with so much love, respect, kindness, and sweetness… it would bring me to tears on several occasions.
Do some men like bigger women?
To give you an idea of what level he suffered from a lack of intelligence, I’ll give you a short list of examples:
- He thought the year 1900 was the beginning of time.
- When he saw that his birth certificate said ‘9.0’ underweight, he believed he was a 90lb newborn.
- When attempting to measure the width of a door one day, he insisted it was 8″ across. That’s because the tape measurer he was using had the inches restart after every foot – so instead of noticing that it was past the 3′ mark, he only paid attention to the 8″.
- He could not figure out the formula for marking boxes at work as ‘1 of 5, 2 of 5, 3 of 5,’ etc.
- He had trouble reading and spelling and sometimes recalling the right words. Such as ‘cherish’ and ‘cherries.’ So he would say something like, “I cherish you.”
- One day, he repeatedly dialed the phone number of a man who kept trying to tell him that he had the wrong number. He kept trying it, anyway, because he was convinced that two people could have the same phone number coincidentally.
Oh, I could go on and on!
I knew from the beginning, in my mind, that I shouldn’t have allowed myself to get involved with someone who was so mentally challenged. And, at first, because I wanted him physically to such an extreme, I rationalized that he was the male equivalent to the female dumb blonde. Or something like the John Travolta character from ‘Welcome Back, Kotter.’
But something else happened after a while and only a little while. I started to have feelings for him. At first, they were feelings of empathy and wanting to protect him from the world. Then, they were feelings of just missing him… missing the way he smiled and would pick me up and spin me around and kiss me, and the feeling of snuggling up in those big, strong arms.
And then… I started to love him. Oh, woe is me. I tried to push it away, but I couldn’t. It happened so fast that I didn’t know what hit me. But even as I sank quickly into the quagmire of love with this man, I kept thinking… “I could never marry him. What if we had a baby, and I died, and he was responsible for caring for it? The baby might need medicine one day, and it’s virtually guaranteed that he would fuck up the dosage and possibly kill it.
No, no. I can’t ever allow that to happen.”
Eventually, I started to rationalize things differently. I told myself, “Suppose that when you first met him, he was just as smart as possible. But then, after you married him and had a baby, he got into a car accident that caused permanent damage to his brain. Would you divorce him over something that wasn’t his fault?”
On and on, I made excuses. On and on, I continued to ‘feel’ happy and in love, but I continued to ‘think’ of how stupid he was and how these two things couldn’t possibly be a good combination.
When I found out he was using cocaine, I thought it was a blessing in disguise. I thought, ‘Now is my chance! I can end this once and for all and blame it on the drug use.” It was a very bittersweet discovery.
But then, he wanted to get help for it and asked me to go with him to talk to a drug counselor. Sitting there, in that little office, next to him… I will never forget the question he was asked, how he answered it, and how it brought tears to my eyes and pulled me right back into the black hole of loving someone who didn’t even know how many days there were in a year, or what day Christmas is on.
The counselor asked him, “How do you feel when you take cocaine?’
He said, “I feel smart. I feel like, for once, I know what’s going on.” Ohhhhh my GOD. Hearing him say those words – I realized for the first time that he had a self-awareness about his ‘low intelligence’ – and felt bad about it. Wow. It killed me. I wanted to hug, protect, and care for him like my child.
And that’s what was the beginning of the end. I began to see him like a child, and my feelings toward him turned more motherly than anything else.
But to this day, I miss him and wonder what ever became of him. I lay awake some nights, wondering where he is and if he’s okay. I fantasize about winning the lottery, tracking him down, and setting up a trust fund so he would always have a place and food. He could have been better at keeping a job. Not because he wasn’t a hard worker, but because he just kept fucking up.
Do women like unintelligent men Why or why not?
In all these years, I found what I suspected to be true. There was never again a lover in my life who made me feel what he made me feel. When I think back on it now, despite the worries and frustrations and embarrassment of being with someone who understood things in such a retarded fashion… those years were the happiest of my life.
I mean pure, simple happiness. The kind of happiness you might have if you lived in a tribe, in the middle of the jungle, where there were no such things as books, tape measurers, calendars, or IQ tests. I’m talking about primal happiness – without logic or reason. Pure sensation.
And so, to answer the question… It’s both a yes and a no. Yes, I couldn’t help myself but fall in love with a man of limited intelligence – and I was able to find happiness with him. But no, I could not accept it as something permanent. It doomed us from the start, and there was no getting around it.
Do women like unintelligent men? Why or why not?
One last thing… don’t imagine this man as a squinty-eyed, slack-jawed dufus who wore a perpetual expression of DUH on his face. No no. He was a tall, muscular, good-looking man. He had a ‘cool’ look about him, with a black leather jacket, earrings, dragon tattoos, and Harley Davidson boots.
Friends, he could carry on a conversation just like anyone else – and have opinions just like anyone else… but his responses would be so utterly and fantastically ridiculous sounding one would think it was all a big joke. He had countless friends who thought he was ‘hilarious’ – and probably never realized how damaged his brain was.
And oh, by the way… I did get married ten years later, and guess what? The man I married was incredibly smart. He solved the Rubik’s Cube in under 3 minutes every single time. His shelves were filled with books about physics and aero-engineering, in which he had his degree.
He could do anything, fix anything, figure anything out – and was like a walking encyclopedia. BUT… I was nowhere as happy with him as I was with my low-IQ guy, who had a heart the size of Texas and a brain the size of a pea.
The marriage with Einstein ended very badly. He was SO cerebral; there was no chance for that silly, goofy hugging and kissing. There was almost no affection or sex at all, and life was very dull in the romance department.
What is the moral of this story?
That’s something I’ll think about until my last dying day. This is the best photograph I ever took in my life. It’s my ex, the one in the story, walking next to my god-daughter – through the parking lot of Chicago’s Lincoln Park Zoo. I’ve had this in a frame and hanging on my wall all these years. It’s from the 1990s.
Attraction and preferences in a partner are highly subjective and can vary greatly among individuals. It’s important to avoid making broad generalizations about what all women like or dislike, as personal preferences are shaped by diverse factors such as values, interests, personality, and individual experiences.
Some women may value intelligence in a partner, appreciating qualities such as curiosity, intellectual stimulation, and the ability to engage in meaningful conversations. Others may prioritize different qualities, such as kindness, sense of humor, emotional intelligence, or shared interests.
Conversely, some individuals might not prioritize intelligence as a key factor in their attraction to a potential partner. Preferences can be influenced by cultural, societal, or personal factors.
It’s crucial to recognize that people are unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all answer to what individuals find attractive in a partner. Building a connection and a successful relationship often involve a combination of various qualities, and what one person values may differ from another. Open communication, mutual respect, and shared values are important components of any healthy and fulfilling relationship.
Define unintelligent.
How about the non-book-smart intuitive?
How about the artists and musicians?
What kind of intelligence are we talking about here?
How about the EQ geniuses? Are they unintelligent, or are they not book smart, or even just bad at math?
Someone can be a genius at feelings, dancing, or creating and terrible at books and math/science. And some of the “smartest” people I know don’t know a thing about feelings and empathy–which can make relationships with “smart” people extremely difficult.
Women CAN like “unintelligent” men if they make up for their lack of one type of intelligence with other types of intelligence. Women need to figure out what kind of intelligence is important to them. For some women, emotional intelligence and connecting on that level is more important than connecting on an intellectual level.
They may connect on an intellectual level with their friends, and when they come home, they want to connect with their partner emotionally. As a converse, maybe more women connect emotionally with their friends/family, and when they come home, they want to connect on an intellectual level with their partner.
It’s all relative.
Is it true that the smarter the girl is, the more difficult it becomes for her to find a guy?
Originally Answered: Is it true that the smarter the girl is, the more difficult it becomes for her to find a guy?
Definitely.
- They have standards. A smart woman will not tolerate any behavior that often comes with dating. She knows what she wants.
- They can be intimidating. Related to what is mentioned above, a smart woman who knows what she wants can be a scary creature. They can easily come off as hard to approach.
- Sometimes, they need more than what most guys can give them. A smart woman needs and wants to be challenged, which she won’t be with anyone.
- They may be more ready for commitment. A smart woman is not interested in wasting her time and may want a more solid and committed relationship than most guys she’ll meet.
- They can be busy. A smart woman knows to put only some eggs in one basket, meaning a guy won’t always be prioritized as number one. There is a career, family, friends, hobbies, etc.
- They are careful. A smart woman won’t give everything away too soon. She’s careful of who she lets in and, sometimes, even a little too protective of her heart.
Note: This goes both ways, of course. It doesn’t just apply to females, but males as well.
Originally Answered: Do women like unintelligent men?
I’m going to make a wild guess here; my apologies if I’m wrong, but even if I am wrong, my guess will apply to many people who are reading this thread. I’m going to guess.
You’re a fairly intelligent guy who could do better with the ladies and is wondering why many guys who seem less intelligent than you do so well.
Here are a few thoughts on that from someone who has been there:
1) Intelligent guys often have difficulty letting go and having fun. Most people only sometimes want to analyze and think things through – often, folks want to have a good time. Sometimes, intelligent guys are bad at that.
2) Being over-analytical isn’t perfectly correlated to intelligence, but the correlation is high. The problem with being over-analytical is that often (and I know this is a generalization), women look at things differently than men. As such, trying to piece together everything they do and tailor your reactions accordingly can be frustrating. It’s better to decide how YOU feel about a girl and act like YOU want to be around her. If she returns the feeling in her way and in her own time, then bingo. If not, you’d both be better off with someone else.
But some meta-thoughts on life in general:
1) If you’re unhappy with your situation, it’s never, and I mean never, a great idea to look externally first. You’ll find that most of life’s problems come from within – behaviors, habits, decision-making, attitude – and it’s always a good idea to examine those first. Also, blaming others for your unhappiness can lead you down a long, dark road of alienation from a world of people who, if given a chance, could make you very happy.
2) It’s a terrible idea to classify people as unintelligent, jerks, or any of the other labels you want to put on a guy you don’t like. You have yet to learn what they might bring, so don’t write them off as one thing or another.
3) Classifying people as unintelligent is not nice. The reason that you’re not getting girls isn’t because you’re intelligent; it’s because you’re not nice. Even if you don’t vocalize these judgments, what you’re thinking comes through on the outside in thousands of ways, and you can’t fake all of them.
Do women like unintelligent men? Why or why not?
I like it when their expertise is complementary to mine. I’m competitive, so it’s hard for me to date someone who excels at the same things, but that’s perfect when proficient at something else.
An ideal relationship is also one where you learn a lot from your partner. And just as important as his intelligence is his intellectual curiosity. If he’s intelligent but not interested in anything outside his realm of expertise, it’s too boring to date him.
It’s not that women like unintelligent men; that’s what neckbeard men tell themselves when they can’t find a partner. They’re drawn to some of the qualities that unintelligent men display. These can be confidence (or arrogance disguised as confidence), being assertive, silly, goofy, not being self-conscious, not being over-analytical, daring, etc.
Being able to have fun in most situations. Such raw primordial qualities would make a woman very desirous of the man possessing them. Do women like unintelligent men? Why or why not?
Most intelligent men (not overcast a blanket) don’t have these qualities; they’re very analytical and, in some sense, not fun to hang out with. They lose their childlike ability to have fun. For a woman, when you combine intelligence with the qualities mentioned above, they call a JACKPOT!
What don’t women understand about men?
My husband and I are having dinner. He broods in silence, and I think, did I do something wrong? Is it something I said?
He stares off into the distance, seemingly in a daze. His eyes are slightly squinted and glazed over; his mental anguish is obvious.
He last said a word to me several minutes ago. I awkwardly push my food around on my plate, replaying the day in my mind, trying to figure out what could have upset him today.
What is he thinking about? Why is he being so cold?
I put down my fork.
Me: “What’s wrong?”
His eyes dart back to me.
Husband: “Mm? Oh, I’m just thinking about how I will cut that piece of flooring to fit around the grooves of the door frame.”
If your man is not talking and looks like he’s in an intense music video, nine times out of 10, he’s not stewing over something you did, thinking about somebody else, etc. He’s probably thinking about something like cutting floors.
Do women like unintelligent men? Why or why not?
As a young woman who appreciates the deeper things in life, I will say NO. Since most women look for a man with leadership qualities, it is inexcusable to be an incompetent leader. BTW, leadership is a skill.
According to me, these are my two levels of Intelligence. They are based on Education(BA diploma, certificate, self-study) and life experience (a collection of your experiences). Intelligence can be easily improved through different mediums; when the two are combined, it is incredible. Always strive for better! The bible even says, “Lean not on your understanding” Prov 3:5 Your understanding may have expired. This is 2024, not 1975.
Second, There are different types of Intelligence.
- Naturalist Intelligence (“Nature Smart”). Appreciating nature, the earth, and our history as human beings is very important.
- Musical Intelligence (“Musical Smart”). Being able to have your genre or outlet of expression. This tells me you are sensitive and have an intuitive and imaginary mind. FYI: You dont need to be able to dance, but show some signs of life on the dancefloor.
- Logical-Mathematical Intelligence (Number/Reasoning Smart). This will help if we can do taxes together and run a business; basic math does not need a bachelor’s education.
- Existential Intelligence (Sensitivity and capacity to tackle deep questions about human existence). This is an extreme turn-on. Forget about abs. This tells me you aspire to have a healthy brain. And this will help if you can explain yourself out of ridiculous situations so that I may forgive you.
- Interpersonal Intelligence (People Smart”). Some attributes include charisma; you can light up the room; you dont need to be a boisterous alpha male; instead, adjust accordingly to your unique personality (Bring out the best version of you). FYI: Alpha males are so overrated.
- Bodily-Kinesthetic Intelligence (“Body Smart”). You want to keep a healthy body for longevity (till death do us part, not burgers do us part) and some muscles so you can fight off the bad guys.
- Linguistic Intelligence (Word Smart). Wheww!! If only some men knew how to speak and not talk. I am not talking about political talk. Stop using cliche remarks from Google…Damn it, Imagine! Characteristics such as witty.
- Intra-personal Intelligence (Self Smart”). Self-awareness. You understand who you are, self-respect. This tells me you possess an attitude of inner workings like character and personality.
- Spatial Intelligence (“Picture Smart” ): Can you visualize certain things? Before we head to Ikea, can you visualize a room in colors other than white and white? This indicates your perspective on your level of creativity; Conformity is mundane. Please help me visualize which outfit will best suit/fit me for a night out other than all that looks good on you.
Do women like unintelligent men? Why or why not?
Friends, I want my man to represent a wholesome picture of at least one of these intelligences. I EXPECT HIM TO DO THE SAME since I am working to prune away and measure up to a higher calling. I don’t respect small thinkers. Intelligence is big-picture thinking. Intimacy(in-to me see) is beyond familiarity.
With the power of the brain and its impeccable abilities, why should one settle for less?
Do women like unintelligent men? Why or why not?