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What is it like to be a lesbian in China?

What is it like to be a lesbian in China?

What is it like to be a lesbian in China?

I am a 21-year-old Chinese girl, a college student, and a lesbian. My partner is my collegemate, we’ve known each other intimately since we joined a football team 2 years ago. Before that, I never thought I’d fall in love with a girl. A traditional Chinese family raised me, but three gay sweeties grew up with me. 

So, I accepted same-sex love since I was in middle school. When I realized I was very fond of her, which is out of range, I suddenly knew about what my gay sweeties’ feel. Then, I accept the affection soon without hesitation. Now, we have lived together like twins for a year. Many other mates perhaps discovered our abnormal relationship even though we really love in a low-key way. :-I

In my university, LGBTQ people exist, but only a certain amount. Chinese official media rarely mention homosexuality. But the generation after the 85s, which is also a network generation, comprehends homosexuality much more. Young people come into contact with LGBT lightly on the internet, so we catch and comprehend more. I even noticed rainbow activities to support gay people in our university. But for the people older, unluckily, they hear too seldom to be aware of “homosexuality”.

I don’t know what my future will be like. Maybe I’ll never talk to my parents about my “strange” love. I plan to pretend to be a non-marriage person to cover other’s eyes. To avoid words of rumour, many gay people have to keep at a distance from relatives.

What is it like to be a lesbian in China?

China has an extreme disparity between the rich and the poor. The gap between the wealthy and the poor is proportional to the socially civilized degree. The area is more affluent, and the society more open, which accepts the higher degree of homosexuality. I live in a second-tier city in central China, where the social civilized degree is pretty good.

In wealthy eastern cities, homosexuality is a fashion trend to a certain extent, becoming a label for cool guys. But at the same time, I can never imagine those poor little towns in China’s west were shocked by the common customs of homosexuality.

Do lesbians have a foot fetish

Being a lesbian in China, like in any other country, can be influenced by a combination of cultural, social, legal, and individual factors. It’s important to recognize that experiences can vary widely, and not everyone within a particular group will have the same experience. Here are some considerations:

  1. Cultural and Social Attitudes: China has a long history and diverse cultural traditions. While there has been increased visibility and acceptance of LGBTQ+ individuals in urban areas, traditional attitudes and conservative beliefs may persist, especially in more rural or traditional communities. This can impact the level of acceptance that lesbians may experience.
  2. Legal Situation: As of my last knowledge update in January 2024, China does not have specific laws criminalizing same-sex relationships. However, LGBTQ+ individuals may still face social stigma and discrimination. Legal recognition of same-sex relationships, including marriage, is not available, and there may be limitations on LGBTQ+ rights.
  3. Visibility and Representation: Visibility of LGBTQ+ individuals, including lesbians, has been growing in China, especially in urban centers. However, representation in media and public discourse may still be limited, and stereotypes or misconceptions may persist.
  4. Support Networks: In larger cities, there are LGBTQ+ communities, organizations, and events that provide support and a sense of community for lesbians. These spaces can be important for sharing experiences, building networks, and accessing resources.
  5. Privacy and Family Dynamics: Family plays a significant role in Chinese culture, and individuals may face challenges coming out to their families. There might be concerns about family expectations, potential rejection, or the impact on relationships within the family.
  6. Changing Dynamics: Social attitudes are evolving, especially among younger generations in urban areas. Online platforms and social media can provide a space for connection and expression, allowing individuals to explore and share their identities.

It’s essential to keep in mind that societal attitudes and legal conditions can change, and the experiences of LGBTQ+ individuals in China may evolve over time. Additionally, the information provided here is based on the situation as of January 2024, and there may have been developments since then.

What is it like to be a lesbian in China?

After you reach 25, females face tons of pressure to get married. Being single is viewed as a “leftover woman” and is despicable. –Yes, it’s stupid and ridiculous, but this is the culture facing Chinese females, not only lesbians. So many lesbians are “forced” into marriage with straight guys, especially those not economically or psychologically strong.

However, there is one good thing about Chinese culture, which makes life easier for gays and lesbians. That is, most Chinese are atheists. So, no one tells you that gays will go to hell. They may mock and tease you, but no one cares enough about this issue. There are no crazy religious freaks who insist on “correcting” gays or lesbians, and I have never heard of hate crimes against gays or lesbians.

The government’s attitude (and perhaps many Chinese people’s) is to pretend there is no issue. There is no repression but no recognition, either. In workplaces, being lesbians is not a big deal, at least in big cities and non-governmental entities.

What is it like to be a lesbian in China?

Most pressure comes from parents and is quite a practical concern. Some feel disgraced to have gay children, but many are worried that their children will face a tougher life. Since gender inequality is big in China, and women get less pay and less promotion, marrying a man may seem economically a better deal than sticking with your “love”. These are very practical calculations, and that’s why many lesbians choose to get married to a man.

But if you are economically independent, your parents’ “saving face” is the only concern. You’d be happy if you could convince your parents (or luckily they don’t need to be). If you are unlucky to have liberal parents, you are still good to go if you do not yield to their emotional blackmail. There is a trend towards more liberty, and the old culture is waning. For now, life is still tough.

What’s it like to be gay in China? | Expert Travel Tips

Me and my girlfriend moved to Shanghai with no idea how a gay couple would be treated. I was pleasantly surprised by what I found. What is it like to be a lesbian in China?

Shanghai surprise 

There were always instances in the US, even in New York City, when people would look at us disapprovingly. So when I came to Shanghai with my partner, I expected more of the same – or worse. After all, this was Asia, and I knew from experience in South Korea that ‘gayness’, let alone PDA, was frowned upon more so than in the US.

To my pleasure, when we arrived in Shanghai, I was amazed at the sheer amount of lesbians that I could identify and see showing affection to each other.

Ps and Ts

One reason for this visibility is that gender roles in lesbian relationships in China are much clearer than in the US. In a Chinese lesbian (or gay) couple, there are Ts and Ps. A (short for tomboy) is a more butch lesbian, usually sporting shorter hair and dressed quite masculine. A P is expected to be the more feminine of the two, with long hair and make-up and generally be the ‘girlier’ girl by societal standards.

A downside to this was that every time my girlfriend and I would go out, we would be asked, ‘Oh, so who is the T?’ because both my girlfriend and I are presenting. It was almost as if, though we were lesbian, one person in the relationship had to at least present like a man. I still become a little bit offended when asked this question. I try to explain that’s not how I view my relationship. Usually, the easiest way to explain this is to say that in the West, they don’t divide lesbians into these categories.

Better than NYC

Perhaps due to this visible P and T distinction, when I came to Shanghai, I felt like I had never seen as many lesbians in one place. I had been to lesbian and gay nights at clubs during college and a lesbian bar in New York City where there were, at most, maybe forty lesbian women. That was very different from Shanghai.

My partner at the time and I had made code names for lesbians we saw. We called the lesbians ‘Kitties’ and gays ‘Puppies.’ We would walk through malls in Shanghai, and I would tug at her hand excitedly, saying, “Kitties!”, “Puppies!” what seemed like every ten or twenty meters. This was a change from the US where, perhaps because of the less binary physical presentation of lesbians, I hadn’t felt as represented.

No fear

The Chinese generally don’t care whether you’re gay or not as long as you’re not their child. And the people here are mild-tempered. Even if they were to find gayness distasteful, it is very unlikely they would ever act on their emotions and even more unlikely they would resort to violence. If you are an LGBTQ traveller in China, have no fear. It is highly unlikely that you will be ‘gay-bashed’ or assaulted for anything else.

Clubs and bars

Shanghai is better for the LGBT party scene than any other city I have visited. And that’s a long list that includes New York City! Check out this list for some venues you will want to visit if you’re in Shanghai.

Tolerance, not rights

Despite all these upsides, presence and tolerance are not the same as legal rights and representation. Gay marriage is not legal in China. Nor are there domestic partnership laws. When my partner and I moved to China, getting a spousal visa was impossible.

Transgender rights are non-existent, and there are no equal housing laws. China did not remove homosexuality from its index of mental disease until 2001!

Same-sex couples cannot adopt as children are not eligible for ‘hukou’ (local residency papers) unless both a mother and father sign the papers. This means that single mothers can’t send their children to school. Imagine the difficulties a lesbian couple would face in getting papers for a child.

Family values

The point of tension in China for the LGBT community is different to the US. For all its progressive facets, the US has a Christian narrative woven into its politics. Religion is often used to defend the denial of rights to the LGBT community.

China is not particularly religious. Living together before marriage is not considered a sin. And no hellfire and brimstone is waiting for homosexuals. The point of tension in China boils down to two other factors.

First, China is a country of only children. This means that if your child is gay, with adoptive rights being next to non-existent, your family line dies with your child. And though China is not religious, it retains many of its Confucian values, which emphasise family relations.

Secondly, shame, shame, shame. ‘Face’ matters a lot for many Asian countries. Parents don’t want their children to be gay for fear that they will be excluded from society. The nail that sticks out gets hammered in is a saying that applies in East Asian society. Sadly, it’s not uncommon for parents to send their children to ‘conversion therapy to change their sexuality.

What is it like to be a lesbian in China?

It depends on our economic situation, diploma, city, parents, and age. This is a big question: What is it like to be a lesbian in China?.

  • 1. The biggest opponent is their parents. Chinese people pay much attention to their family and their relatives’ opinions. So many lesbian people enter hetero marriage. You know, female is much crispy in the marriage. Sex harassment, motherhood, housework.
  • 2. A lesbian is a female gay. Females may face a ceiling when they work and acquire less than females. The media pay more attention to male gays than lesbians, whether good or bad. It is said that lesbians are invisible. Even in so-called LGBT associations, lesbians, bisexuals, and transgender acquire fewer resources.
  • 3. More and more people choose Gay-lesbian cooperated marriage.
  • 4. No law is related to LGBT. It never existed in the government’s eye about lesbians while the government gave some attention(money, training) to gay males because of AIDS.
  • 5. Our Chinese dreams are migrating. But only the elite can do it.

Are Chinese men going after lesbians in China since there is a shortage of women?

You’re looking in the wrong direction of this problem.

  1. The shortage of women affects first-year students.
  2. Lesbians are rarely, if ever, underclass.
  3. Interclass marriage is rare in every society.
  4. Thus, lesbians have nothing to do with the shortage of women and its consequences.

Lesbianism is not only a biological phenomenon but also a socioeconomic one. Some people can’t afford to come out of the closet.

I messed with the vocalist of my campus band, and she was like 30% bisexual and 70% lesbian. Plus, her girlfriend, who was about 70% bisexual. It isn’t very easy. It’s not anything long-term, so I wouldn’t call it successful. In most cases, you don’t know who is bi or less in the first place. What is it like to be a lesbian in China?

What is it like to be an Asian lesbian?

Haha~ I am from China and sitting on my bed answering your question.

  • 1. I’ve already come out of the closet, but I’d never mention it in my colleague’s presence.
  • 2. My mom knew about it when I was in middle school. My favourite straight woman was my Chinese teacher in high school. I carved her name on my left arm with a knife, her name big and clear.
  • 3. I am 28 now, single and peaceful. Marriage is not my way, and I am thinking about going abroad. I’d rather wash plates and bowls overseas than fight for freedom in China.

Why do lesbians exist?

The Gay Agenda. We want to emasculate men, steal heterosexual women away to the dark side of the lemon and keep Birkenstocks in permanent business.

Other than that, we exist because our parents thought it would be a good idea to have sex one night and pop! Out came a lesbian. What is it like to be a lesbian in China?

Lesbians, what do you like in other women that men probably won’t?

I went out with women for 15 years before I married a man ten years ago. The thing that I find most attractive in a woman, the thing that made me say “yes” to a date request or inspired me to make the request, are the smile lines around the eyes. 

There’s something sexy about a person who spends so much time enjoying life that it’s marked her face! I was also attracted to confidence, irony, intelligence and musical talent.

Do women like unintelligent men Why or why not


China is a GAY-FRIENDLY country. No religion or politics is against gays in China, and people tend to have a more distant attitude towards things unrelated to them. The major pressure comes from parents who want you to have a marriage and think that only having a baby can complete you.

The minor pressure stems from financial insecurity. In the workplace, women get 60% of men’s salaries, and there is a huge female population out of the job, especially the homemakers dependent on their husbands.

What is it like to be a lesbian in China?