Would you date a single mother?

Would you date a single mother?

Sure, I would, and I have. Single moms are just people like anyone else. Some are great, some not so much, and most are somewhere in the middle with the rest of us. Some made mistakes, some were widowed, and some got dumped on by an uncaring asshole. You can’t lump them all into one pile and paint them all with the same brush like some guys on here seem to want to do.

A single parent is a person who has a child or children but does not have a spouse or live-in partner to assist in the upbringing or support of the child. Single Mother: a mother who does not have a husband or partner.

I’ve been a single dad for more than 16 years, and I’ve had women bolt in the other direction when they found out I had full custody. Some people (men and women) are selfish and don’t want to share or be bothered with someone else’s kids.

So what? That’s fine; I’m probably better off without them anyway, and these women are better off without a bonehead in their lives. I just shrugged it off and kept on changing diapers. However, some people are deeply hurt by the rejection, so don’t be a jerk.

Look, being a single parent is hard, REALLY HARD. We do the best we can to juggle work, home, personal life, and our kids. The bad moms often dump their kids on someone else and have a ton of excuses for why the kids aren’t around. The single moms that are taking care of their kids on their own are the good ones. Pay attention to the single moms. There are some really hardworking, loving, caring gems among them. Find one you like, and hope she likes you back.

Guys, if your just in it for the ass, then keep walking and don’t bother her. She has enough on her plate already and doesn’t need your extra helping of crap. If you’re a good man who has some love to give and you’re willing to take a packaged deal, then a good single mom is hard to beat.

Would you date a single mother?

I have had relations with a beautiful girl a year older than me. We just spoke today for the first time in about a year. We were doing well, and at the time, she had one kid. She is a wonderful mother, and her kid is a sweetheart. She is everything that I wanted. We cooked some kick-ass dinner and played with her kid until he went to sleep. Once he would go to sleep, we would watch movies and go to sleep. With as much as I work, I couldn’t picture a better Saturday night.

Things kept going well until the father of her child wanted a second chance. She came over one afternoon and cried her eyes out, telling me that she was sorry, but it was the best for her kid. I was upset, but I fully understood and encouraged her to do what was best for her child. We stopped talking until she called me about two months after she got back with the father of her child. She called to tell me she was pregnant.

Normally, I am all for sex. I’m a man; that’s all we care about, right? I told her that I wouldn’t have sex with her until I knew we were exclusive and her child wasn’t around. Because of this, we never had sex, so I knew the child wasn’t mine. She was pregnant with the boyfriend she had just got back with. Now, she has two kids and wants to pick up where we left off.

I don’t know the exact reasoning behind it, but I do not have a desire to continue pursuing anything with her. Nothing past friendship level. I honestly don’t know if it is because she has two kids now or if it is because I’m worried she will just cut me off again.

I would date a female with one child that wasn’t planned. Any more than that would be iffy, but I am a 20-year-old trying to figure life out. I need to worry about my own life before I worry about a woman with two kids.

What should you know before dating a single mother?

It depends on the mother in question and what she wants from the relationship. Not all mothers are going to be the same – each is going to have her motivations, strengths and weaknesses. Some might be just looking for a temporary partner to scratch an itch (and have no intention of ever introducing me to the child in question), and others might be looking for their lifelong partner.

If I were single with no children, I’d think pretty carefully about dating a parent – I’d be completely aware that a strong parent is always going to put their child first, which means that I’d have to be prepared to come second (even if it’s a very close second). Adding to that, if I were to become that person’s partner, then I’d be obligated to do my best to contribute to the child’s wellbeing. I can see why that might be not very safe.

 Parents often feel ill-prepared and not ready to accept the pressures of child-rearing, so I think it’s completely understandable if a non-parent has second thoughts about the issues involved. When you become involved with a parent – your actions don’t just affect you and the other party anymore – there are more players in the game to consider.

Women aren’t my primary gender of interest (and I can’t see my partner being happy about me dating anyone else), but that aside, if I were inclined → it would also come down to where I was in my life and the specific single mother in question.

Single mothers (or fathers) aren’t a hegemonic whole.

What if the specific single mother was everything I wanted? What if she was thoughtful, intelligent, driven, attractive and successful? Does she have dreams and goals that she’s shooting for? Is she educated? Knowledgable? Does she make me laugh? Do our end goals align? If so… then yeah. I’d probably date her. I’d consider her important enough to accept that she comes with small, conscious, child-shaped responsibilities.

Unless her child was a little shit, That’s a deal-breaker.

Image source: Me. I checked. My partner definitely won’t let me date single mothers.

Why Should you not date a single mother?

Absolutely not.

1. Her relationship with her child’s father failed for two reasons. Either she had issues, or he did. Do I want to take that 50-50 gamble and find out? Not particularly.
2. Her kids will always come first, as they should. Having said that, why should a man settle for that when there is a surplus of single women available who can make him the priority?
3. Her kid is not your kid, no matter how much you pretend he is. You will be made aware of that fact in short order by the mother. The mother will have no problem with you providing for the child, buying birthday presents, and spending money on the kid. However, the minute you try to discipline him or keep him in line, she will tell you, “he is not your child!”. The child will never respect you after that.
4. If the relationship should ever sour and end in divorce, you will never see the kid again, even if you have formed a close bond with him/her.
5. The motives of a single mother can be very hard to discern. Raising kids as a single mother is tough. Single mothers tend to work all the time, dont make a lot of money and have little to no time for leisure. My point is that these women, a lot of times, are actively looking for a partner. There is an incentive for her to put on an act to try to “land a man” to help her out. Once you marry her, that act could vanish. With a single girl, you can be a little bit more secure that she likes you for you initially.
6. You are capping your potential at the knees, particularly if you are a young man in your twenties. Even if she tells you that she doesn’t expect you to pay for her kids, rest assured that you will become the financial provider eventually. Kids are expensive. The money that you spend on those kids could be used to further your career, start your own business, and invest for retirement. And let’s avoid even getting into the time investment. You will spend hours driving them to school, social events, games and so forth. You will invest all this time and all this money into children that are not yours, that you have no legal right to, and that you will never see again if the relationship falls apart.
7. Baby daddy drama

I could go on, but I think I’ve made my point. There are far too many single women in the world for men to accept the risks that come with dating/Marrying single mothers.

Why should you date a single mother?

Guys should calm down, and no one is asking you to be a dad. Relax. We are not entitled to say nasty things about single mothers because we don’t know their struggles.

Yeah, sure. I would date a single mother. At my age, I want to be a dad, and I want to have five kids or more! So, if she has a child, it’s a bonus. I don’t think less of them just because they are single mothers, and I think they have a sense of responsibility. I admire women who have a lot of courage and are resilient through tough times. Single mothers are more committed and patient than a woman who doesn’t have a child.

Some single mothers are smart, savvy, loyal, and dedicated and are trying their best to live a full life. They are confident with their bodies, and they go deep into their hearts because they went through a personal growth experience. 

It’s not like she will demand her partner to raise her children; single mothers won’t ask you to jump into fatherhood immediately. Remember that she’s more than a mother; she’s a provider, nurturer and a fighter. She needs a partner in life, not a father to her child.

Money is the last thing she wants from you; she needs affection, time and support. Also, I have an awesome job, and I don’t care if she’s a plus one and about other people’s opinions. If I like her, I mean it, and I take responsibility for my decisions, too. 

Who knows, I might marry her and adopt her kid(s) eventually. Yes, it will be hard, especially if the biological dad is still in the picture. It takes a stronger man to accept someone else’s children and step up to the plate another man left on the table.

I bet she has really good snacks at her place. Chips, skittles, homemade gummy bears, and I love a cookie jar that is always filled up.

Men, why would you or would you not date a single mother?

Let’s break it down:

Why I’d Date a Single Mother

• Kids do not turn them off. Not wanting to have kids is my #1 dealbreaker. Most interesting women I meet don’t want to have a family. A lot of single moms don’t want to have any more kids, but at least they’re not anti-children.
• Her wild party days are probably over. Done with that shit myself.
• If she’s interesting, fun, and generally a caring, affectionate and good person — especially if she loves her children and is obviously a good mother — I’m willing to overlook other things I might not like.
• Single mothers are often less picky and judgmental because they know that they, too, have obviously made mistakes in life. They also know that most men don’t want to date single mothers. Women can be outrageously picky and judgmental and often hold men up to difficult standards — yes, men can do the same thing to women — but single moms and dads can’t afford to be this way if they ever want to be in a relationship again.
• Young, attractive, single, childless men and women often have a lot of rigid standards and rosy ideals that don’t square away with reality. Single parents have usually had their noses rubbed in the steaming pile of dog turds called “the way things really are.” I appreciate that about them.

Why Dating a Single Mother (or Father) Can Suck

• Creepy, sometimes controlling, or just generally bad exes. Don’t need to elaborate. My best friend shares custody with his ex-wife. Let me put it: they were a terrible match and should never have had a kid together. Both of them are now remarried and a lot happier. But because of their son, their lives are bound together until one of them is on the cooling board. And they hate each other.
• Court orders sometimes prevent one parent from moving to another city without the permission of the other parent and of the court itself.
• I’m a drifter. Women are usually nesters. With kids and baby mamas/baby daddies and custody issues involved, single parents often have to jump through legal hoops if they ever want to move to be with a new partner. It complicates moving somewhere else for a job. It also complicates their new partner’s job search.
• I have a friend back in Pittsburgh, a single mother, whom I’d love to date. We really like each other. She’s exactly what I’m looking for. But I live halfway across the country. She can’t move here because Baby Daddy lives there, and Baby Daddy isn’t ever leaving Pittsburgh. She’ll be living there for the next 14 years until her child is legally an adult. There’s no work in my field there, and I’m not moving just to be a waiter, so… connect the dots.
• Some single mothers (and fathers) are single because of their issues and lack of maturity. Some of them made terrible decisions about relationships and sex. Some of them are divorced for good reasons: they’re unstable, troubled people.
• Most single mothers seem to be looking for a man with a great career and solid professional prospects because that’s ideal for raising children — and, honestly, I never really pursued that. I have really un-American views about what success and happiness are (probably why I’m happier than Americans tend to be), but this is an instant turn-off for most American women, especially if they have children because children require money.
• If you break up with a single mother, saying goodbye to her kids can be rough unless you’re able to remain friends.
• Lots of single mothers, especially if they’re approaching 40, are done with cranking out more kids. That’s normal. But most men, regardless of age, still have a basic biological urge to have a kid who shares his DNA. It is just animal instinct for most guys. Men can also be instinctively reluctant to raise another man’s children. On some level, this goes back to the “cave/tribe/monkey mentality.” I’m not defending it, but it’s part of reality. Lots of men get over it — women seem far less prone to it — and my hat’s off to them. But men often struggle with “That’s some other dude’s sperm.” Animal psychology.

Would you date a single mother?

I dated a single mother last year. She was great. And she cleaned houses for a living, used to be a homeless drug addict, and had dropped out of high school, but was absolutely one of the smartest, most insightful people I’ve ever met. She also had an ex who caused her a lot of anxiety and played psychological warfare with her over their children. That was rough on her. 

She broke up with me, mostly because she cared and wanted to spare me that turmoil. We only dated briefly, but I still miss her.

Single parents usually have some turmoil and friction with the child’s other parent. You’ve just got to decide whether you’re OK with that and go on a case-by-case basis. Single mothers, like single fathers, aren’t some monolith. Like human beings at large, they all have their unique story. Treat them like the individuals they are.

Men, why would you or would you not date a single mother?

I’m engaged to be married. It’s highly unlikely that I will ever go on a date with anyone other than the future Mrs. Jackie Chhabra.

When I was single, one of my rules was never to date a single mother. When I’m only in my 20s, why the hell would I date a woman who comes with the baggage of children? I’ve had a few casual relationships, but I’m not really a sleep-around forever kind of guy. I’m not going to raise some other man’s genetic material.

Some women spend their youth having casual sex with strong, masculine “bad boys” when they are young and hot. Bad boys tend to be lone wolves; that’s why women are so attracted to bad boys in the first place. Bad boys hang out for a while and leave. When these women aren’t so young and hot anymore, they’ll find an average Joe with a good job and marry them so she and her children can be taken care of physically, financially, and emotionally. 

If a woman already has kids and no husband by the time she’s thirty years old, she is likely one of these parasitic women. The only exceptions are if she is widowed and maybe if she’s divorced. It’s not an exception for me, but it might be for others.

I was a big hit among the single mothers at my workplace in Houston. If I was being a little b*tch, I could say that they sexually harassed me, but I didn’t really mind. The place where I worked was filled with single mothers, and many of these women in their mid to late 30s would constantly flirt with me and make suggestive and clearly inappropriate comments. 

This lady who worked in the next cubicle would constantly invite me over to her house so she could cook for me. Some of them were attractive, but I always turned them down. I’m no chump, and I won’t be taken advantage of; that’s why I never dated a single mother.

Conclusion

Would you date a single mother? I would, I did, and I married one. I met my wife when she had an almost one-year-old baby girl, Ashley. The biological father basically abandoned her when she got pregnant at age 19. Honestly, I am very thankful that he did, his loss, my gain. He was never in the picture, which frankly was a good thing as far as I was concerned. Ashley has never met him and has expressed no desire to do so, but if she did, I wouldn’t object; she is my daughter, and that will never change. 

So we married about a year later and went on to have three more kids, and now I have four kids I love dearly. I love Ashley in every way as much as my biological children; And I grew to love her quickly and legally adopted her at age 4. I am so grateful to have her as my daughter, and I can’t tell you how much she means to me. 

Not to say it was without some adjustment going from single to instant dad, it wasn’t, but I have absolutely no regrets and feel blessed for what I have, which is a good marriage of 28 years and a 30-year-old daughter I adore. Ashley and her husband are about to give me my 4th grandchild as well, 3 of which (will be) hers and one from my second daughter.

Would you date a single mother?

Goga Jahar Peer Sadhana Method and Rules, Mantra, Worship

Would you date a single mother?